Tuesday, December 29, 2015

18 thoughts


Since 2016 is coming super soon, I think it's time for me to post this now. I always have random thoughts going through my mind whenever I shower, when I drive (I know this is a bit dangerous but it just happens sometimes), before going to bed, scrolling through social medias and whenever I feel nostalgic after looking back at certain events or happenings or some really old posts on social medias that made me thought about the past. Initially, I intended to give this blog post a title named "18 things that I've learnt when I'm 18" but then I finally decided to switch it into "18 thoughts" instead as I thought it would sound much better and plus, I wouldn't say the things that I'm going to list down below this paragraph are the things that I actually learned in real life. Most of it were just random thoughts that just came into my mind at times. *I'm actually typing this while listening to an emotional song so I guess the things that I'm going talk about below will either sound a little dramatic or emotional or maybe not lolz*

1. I've never always realised that time passes pretty quick until I started aging.

LOL hold on for a second, I should change the phrase above which is "as I started aging" into "as I grew older" because the earlier one made me sound like as if I'm really old and I'm just a teenager. Since young, I've always thought that time passes slowly and during school hours, I've always hoped that classes would end early so that I can go home sooner or I would hope that school holidays would come faster so that I could stay home and enjoy watching tv or playing games. For now, I realised that time actually passes really fast. I have just stepped into college in the month of January which is the beginning of the year and it's already December now (2 more days to new years)! It means I'm halfway done with college and shall be stepping into university soon, woah! In the past, during primary and secondary school days, I used to think that 30 min classes are pretty slow, especially when the subject is taught by teachers who are dull and boring but now, in college, every tutorial sessions are of at least an hour and sometimes it's not even enough for the lecturer to finish up the topics he wanted to teach in just an hour of time.

2. Family members are the most important people in your life.

Family members are the ones who will always be there for you no matter what happens. For myself, I have a very open-minded family where we can just talk about almost anything freely and openly without feeling shameful or offensive (except for certain things). My parents are the ones who always give me supports and they always try their best to cheer me up or console me when I feel upset or down, especially my mother. As for my sister, I could just tell her anything and she listens to my stories while I listen to hers (even though sometimes she would just ignore me and just nod her head). Even though friends also play an important role in your life, family members are still the utmost important people in your life.

3. We are fated/meant to meet certain people in life.

Everyone we met in life is a blessing. Sometimes, I find it fascinating to know that out of so many people in this world, we are fated to meet certain people in our lives, this includes the people who you tend not to notice around you such as the people who walk past you on the streets, shopping malls or at any places. Friends and enemies are considered a blessing in our lives as friends are the ones who gives you mental supports and they can be your listeners while enemies are the ones who gives us all the lessons and allows us to develop certain qualities such as learning on how to tolerate with people as well as how to face your fears or problems.

4. People always tell me that I don't look like my age, which I do agree.

I always look at my reflection in the mirror. I seriously don't have a mature face. Maybe it is due to my genes or something? I've come across some teenage girls on instagram which are younger than me and they tend to look more mature than me. Strange.

5. When I was younger, I always imagined myself driving a car and was once afraid that I couldn't manage it.

For now, I even managed to drive myself to college every single morning, fetching my sister back from her school and even going for food at certain places. The perks of being a legal 18 year old person. Hehe.

6. I've changed from a very mischievous person into a serious person.

I was once a very mischievous person back then when I was younger. I was really rebellious, if you tried to stop me from doing anything that I wanted to do back then, it makes me want to do more (it's like indirectly giving me motivation to perform something negative). As for now, once I'm given a task, I will ensure that everything is done in a right manner and perfectly. If you know me well, you would know that I wouldn't force anyone to do things that they wouldn't like to do as I will always try my best to understand that person's feelings as well as putting myself into other people's shoes.

7. The feeling of being separated from your closest friends/people is quite unbearable but it's a normal process in life.

I've always feared of being separated from my closest friends/people. This is because I'm afraid of losing my best listeners, my mental supporters and my best companions. Then there was this one night where I was having insomnia so I started to think about things that happened around me. I have finally understand that I need to step out of my comfort zone and to accept the fact that on your way to doing anything in life, you somehow have to forgo certain things in order to achieve your goals, such as friendships. Unless you're that lucky that your closest friends or your besties are also doing the same thing as you're doing right now and they are taking the same path as you. I always tell myself, if they're your true friends, they will also always have you on their minds as well.

8. Sometimes, I am afraid to feel happy (or extremely happy) when I actually am.

This is because unfortunate/unhappy things will often happen after each time I try to be really happy or to relax myself. I guess this is how life works. You can never be happy at all times. It must be balanced with some sad/unhappy events. Look, I'm not a pessimist nor am I a sadist but is this what I really thought of. But what are the best things you could do is to try to be optimistic. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

9. If you have gave your best in doing everything, then you should stop blaming yourself and try to accept the outcome of that something.

Many of you may disagree with me on this and say "probably it is fated that I'm useless or stupid", "but I wanted that thing so much" or "I'm not good enough". Hang on, the point that I'm trying to make here is that if you have tried your best but you don't succeed, at least you have tried. You have given in your best efforts and did all you can to make things work. It is already a lot better than not trying at all. You must be feeling a bit guilty when things don't go as what you intended it to be and that is perfectly normal. But you should stop blaming yourself and just accept whatever the outcome is. Take myself as an example, I have done my best on studying for AS exams and if I don't get full As, I would tell myself that at least I've tried my very best and I've come this far, perhaps it was just only that I wasn't lucky enough during my examination periods. At least, this will help me in lessening my guilt if I didn't do well enough.

10. I'm thankful for what I have.

Although I'm not a rich person nor I am from a rich background, I'm grateful for what I have. I'm lucky to have good parents, a good sister, good friends and good people around me. I'm thankful for having the opportunity to taste good food, receiving good education, having a handphone, having nice clothes to wear and all the good things in life. I am able to eat well and sleep well each day and I think it is already a blessing.

11. I'm thankful for being able to meet such a great guy.

For those who know me, you must be knowing who I'm referring to. Yes, Javier. If you don't know me well, this guy that I'm talking about is the guy who has always been there for me, giving me all the supports that I need and the closest guy that I have ever been with. We started off as classmates and then slowly we became best friends and maybe more than just best friends? Hehehehe. He is my inspiration and an good example. And the best thing about him is that he does care about me a lot though we barely see each other all the time. Another good thing about him is that he's a sensible person.

12. I'm thankful for having true friends and lovely college mates.

As I age, my circle of good friends become smaller and smaller as time goes by. I've slowly learnt who are my real friends and who are just my normal friends. What I meant by true friends are the ones who always remembers me and are always there for me when I need them. They were the ones who gave me the mental support that I needed mostly during those awful times. Not forgetting my college mates, they're the ones who helped me in coping my college life. Without them, I guess my college life would suck and become really dull. Though we've only known each other for less than a year but I can sense a strong bond between us all. I hope we will continue to have more great times together in the future.

13. I'm turning 19 soon and this means I'll soon be getting my degree, my masters and going for work!

Most of my friends are already done with their foundation programs and they are already on their path to get their degree. Right after finishing up my A2, I will also be doing the same thing as them, that is, I'll be chasing after my degree. I have no idea what I've been doing in college all these while. LOLs. Still the same old sentence again, time flies so damn fast! I didn't know this day would come so soon.

14. I wish to travel to many places before I get old.

I love travelling. One reason why I love to travel is because I get to learn a lot of things. Travelling broadens my mind. It feels really different to see the places/buildings/things right in front of you, with your own eyes instead of just seeing them in books, magazines, websites or advertisements. Another thing, it gives me the opportunity to experience what the locals usually do everyday, to observe how they behave, to discover more about their cultures and etc. I want to do the things that I love (in this case it's travelling) while I'm still active.

15. I have learnt to appreciate holidays.

Holidays seem to come easily but in fact they don't. For schooling kids, they may take holidays for granted and start complaining that staying home is boring. I've been through such stages where I complain that holidays are boring as hell and only when I started aging I start to realise that holidays are really a privilege, especially when you're a college, university student or even a working adult. Holidays are the days where you get to sleep longer and not having to wake up early everyday and drive yourself to work or to college/university. Holidays are the days where you can get to relax. And I just realised there's many things that I can do at home to keep me busy for hours such as crafts (I recently made an explosion box with my friends), baking, blogging and etc.

16. I finally got out of my comfort zone and try doing various things.

I'm not a very great person. I don't do great things but sometimes I do feel proud of myself for the little things that I've done. I've started to put in some effort into making myself look better and dressing up in a more feminine way. Previously, if you've noticed, I usually wear only jeans with tees but for now, I've started to wear shorts, skirts or mini dresses. Dressing up nicely makes me feel good about myself. *sounds weird but yeah* I used to care what others think about me and I was afraid to embarrass myself in front of others but after going to college, I didn't care much about it anymore although sometimes I do care about my image. I started dancing shamelessly in public with Brenda, my college mate and sometimes doing shameless things with my sister. It was pretty good though, I've never felt this fun before.

17. Staying humble is the key to becoming a better person.

I've come across certain people who love to brag about their achievements or bragging about whatever they have in life. I admit, maybe sometimes I do brag about something but I believe that I didn't brag in a exaggerated manner. I'm not a very great person, I'm also not a very successful person. Therefore, I choose to stay humble. Yes, you may feel good about your achievements or you may feel happy for owning something that certain people might not have but what I think is that everyone should stay humble. Lessen those brags and learn to live happier. Bragging will only cause people to feel irritated towards you. No offence.

18. Smile while you still have teeth.

When I was younger, I did not love to smile a lot because I was unconfident. I used to think that my teeth were not nice. Then I started to change my perspective and think positively. I regained my confidence and started to smile more often. People always tell me that I look pretty fierce especially when I have a straight face. I want to change these peoples' thoughts about me. I'm a nice person and I'm not as what you think I am. *smirk* 

Phew, I'm finally done with my "18 thoughts" blog post. Took me around 2 months to come up with this complete post. Thanks for reading. See you soon!

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